


Midnight Wanderings

by Syverne



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Late at Night, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 18:31:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syverne/pseuds/Syverne
Summary: Deceit goes for a walk and accidentally stumbles into Roman.orDeceit has a breakdown and Roman is there to help.





	Midnight Wanderings

Deceit couldn’t sleep. He hardly ever could. It wasn’t a big deal - he wouldn’t die from a lack of sleep, since he was only a facet of Thomas’ personality. It had a few repercussions, sure, but nobody else really cared if he didn’t spend the whole night in bed - he hardly ever ran into Virgil anymore, and Remus didn’t care about him or his health at all - so there wasn’t really a point to even  _ trying _ to sleep on those sorts of nights.

On this particular night on which sleep evaded the viperous Side, another was having a similar problem far on the other side of Thomas’ mindscape. Prince Roman, though always energetic and enthusiastic in front of others, was often disturbed by restless nights, and it bothered him far more than it did Deceit. The two were in the same boat, but one was much more annoyed at being in that boat than the other.

Honestly, it was a miracle the two hadn’t run into each other during midnight wanderings already.

* * *

Deceit slipped from his room, closing the door gently behind him. With a flick of his fingers, he locked it, always wary that Remus - being the boundaryless “free spirit” that he claimed he was as an excuse to go through Deceit’s things - would sneak in once he was out of sight. He made his way lazily down the hall, without a particular goal in mind and without much regard for the noise he was making, as the carpet absorbed much of his footsteps.

It was nice, at night. All of the other Sides were asleep, leaving the mindscape open and silent and giving Deceit the peace and quiet he so desired. He spent most of his waking hours unhappy, whether it was from the barbed tongues he encountered whenever he interacted with the self-acclaimed ‘Light’ sides or from the abhorrently disturbing topics Remus could never stray far from, which Deceit frankly didn’t want to even think about, much less discuss. Deceit wished for some form of pleasant company, but he hadn’t found any since Virgil had left the ‘Dark’ Sides, and so he had to settle for solitude instead.

Deceit hadn’t been paying very much attention to where his wandering was taking him, and thus felt a pang of surprise when he discovered himself to be on the ‘border’, if you will, between the Light and Dark sides of the mindscape. The two sides weren’t very different, and the border wasn’t very grandiose, but he had found that the other Sides didn’t like it very much when that border was crossed. However… it was the middle of the night. Surely no other would be awake at such an hour?

He waited patiently on his side of the line, straining to try and hear if there were any living sounds on the other side. He didn’t know how long he stood there, hands folded behind his back, staring blankly at a wall on the other side as he tried to come to a conclusion. After minutes that stretched on into the feeling of hours, Deceit decided that there must not be any others awake, and stepped over the border into the Light side of the mindscape.

Deceit wasn’t particularly worried about being caught, in truth. He could teleport to anywhere he’d like, including back into his room if any of the other Sides stumbled upon him. There was still a slight itch of anxiety at the base of his skull, but he didn’t read too far into it. The other Sides couldn’t do anything to him if they caught him, of course, and they all hated him already. He had nothing to lose.

He almost had fun, exploring the other side of the mindscape. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been there, and with there being four Light Sides, it was double the size of the side he was usually stuck on. It was certainly much more open concept, allowing Deceit to explore an abundance of rooms without opening or closing a single door, and as he reached what seemed to be a small indoor aquarium, he felt a pang of longing. Even if they had these sorts of things on the Dark side, Deceit had nobody to share them with. Remus would rather hit him upside the head with medieval weaponry than have a civil conversation, and the Light Sides… even Virgil had assaulted him with insults the last time they’d spoken face-to-face.

“ _ Deceit? _ ” a confused, surprised voice inquired from somewhere behind him. Deceit gave a start, forcefully dragged from his thoughts as he spun on his heel to face the newcomer, drawing a sly sneer to his face in an attempt to hide his emotions.

Even in pyjamas, Deceit could recognize and name the other Side as... 

“Roman. What  _ are _ you doing up so late, hm?” Deceit pushed his eyebrows into a questioning expression. He could just flee, but he had to admit that he was curious. Besides, a few moments wouldn’t make any difference.

“I- well- you- why- it’s- what are  _ you _ doing here?” Roman spluttered, a blush creeping into his cheeks. Deceit could understand his embarrassment - he’d just run into one of his nemeses whilst wandering around in pyjamas. Honestly, if their roles had been reversed, Deceit would have been flustered too. He didn’t even consider that there might be another reason why the prince was having trouble keeping his words straight.

“Exploring,” Deceit answered simply. “Very nice place you… what do you call yourselves?  _ Light _ Sides have here.” He strode to another fish tank, placing one hand on the glass and peering at the colourful aquatic life within.

“Go back to your side, Deceit,” Roman ordered, but it was more tired than anything. His statement lacked its usual conviction, dull resignation and exhaustion replacing the Light Side’s fiery and outgoing personality.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about that,” Deceit started, looking back over his shoulder at Roman. He turned slowly and continued, “Why are you four so insistent on a boundary between us? You even started calling us the  _ Dark _ Sides, as if we were some sort of  _ villains. _ ” Deceit moved towards Roman as he spoke, stopping only after he uttered the word ‘villains’.

“Because you  _ are _ the villains!” Roman exclaimed. “We’re trying to  _ help _ Thomas, and all you do is ruin things!” A finger was pointed accusingly in Deceit’s direction, and he eyed it curiously.

“Now, it is true that Remus is incredibly useless and just a bother to everyone,” Deceit admitted, cocking his head slightly. “But I’ve helped Thomas as well, you all just ignore that when it’s convenient for you. And what about your dear friends, Virgil and Patton? Anxiety and Morality. They’ve thrown Thomas off the ‘right’ path more than once, haven’t they? And you’re not exactly condemning  _ them _ to the ‘Dark’ side, hm?”

The gap between the two Sides had shrunk again, and Roman seemed to be becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Again, Deceit couldn’t exactly blame him.

“Get away from me,” Roman spat, taking a large step away from Deceit. “I don’t- we don’t- nobody wants you here.” There was hesitation as he tried to get the words out, and Deceit momentarily hoped that perhaps Roman realized how much his words could hurt, before chasing that hope away.

His sentence felt like a knife being driven into Deceit’s stomach.  _ Nobody wants you here. _ Roman didn’t care about him. Patton and Logan didn’t care about him. Virgil didn’t care about him. Remus didn’t care about him. Even Thomas had shown that he didn’t care about him. The other Sides didn’t seem to understand that he acted like a villain because they’d made him one, not the other way around. Perhaps the personage of ‘Deceit’ would be entirely different if he’d been accepted as a Light Side since the beginning.

“Uh… Deceit?” Roman sounded confused again, and Deceit realized that he had just been staring at the other Side’s face without speaking for the last few moments. He narrowed his eyes and coughed in an attempt to dispel the awkward feeling.

It didn’t work.

“You…” Deceit jabbed a finger pointedly at the other Side, hissing the words out aggressively. “You don’t  _ think. _ None of you do!” he opened his arms, gesturing to the room around them. “You just sit here in your  _ palace, _ being all sunshine and rainbows while I’m forced to be  _ alone. _ ” Yellow snake-slit eyes narrowed threateningly, as if challenging the prince to insult him now.

Roman looked at him with wide eyes, the signature visage of a deer caught in the headlights. Deceit could see his brain trying to keep up with everything that had been said by the snake, trying to sort out truth from lies. The Light Side spluttered momentarily before blurting out, “What about Remus?”

Deceit had to laugh. It was an unamused, maniacal chuckle, dry as desert bones. “You _really_ think I want to spend my time with _Remus Sanders?_ _You_ can’t even stand him, and you’re his _brother!_ No, as far as I’m concerned, I am alone. That bee-brained feather-head is barely a Side as it is.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“I… I don’t understand,” Roman murmured, leaning against the arm of one of the couches. “You hate us… because we hate you?”

“Congratulations, you have a brain. Why did you  _ think _ I hate you?” Deceit snapped, crunching his eyebrows into a quizzical expression. He felt a sudden urge to make the other Side understand, to explain why their treatment of him hurt so badly, but he doubted Roman would listen. The prince was an egoist, self-centred and dramatic, and if Deceit could make any of the Light Sides understand how he felt, it wouldn’t be Roman.

“Because… you’re supposed to be our villain,” Roman admitted sheepishly, caramel-coloured irides flicking up towards Deceit’s face as embarrassment crept into his cheeks. “You  _ like _ hurting Thomas, and the rest of us...” but the conviction was lost, the white-and-red-clad Side averting his eyes to the floor, “...don’t you?”

Deceit was momentarily taken aback.  _ Like _ hurting Thomas? Did the Light Sides really reject him because they thought he  _ enjoyed _ his job? Because they thought he would try and hurt  _ them? _ He had formed to be Thomas’ deceitful side, but that didn’t mean he could have good intentions. And he definitely didn’t want to hurt Thomas on purpose… goodness, everything he did was specifically to  _ help _ Thomas, albeit usually only in the moment and it could (and usually did) backfire later.

“I don’t,” he answered, his words clipped by a slight harshness. “I don’t enjoy playing this corny villain and I don’t want to hurt Thomas… or the rest of you. I just do my job. Do you think Anxiety - Virgil -  _ likes _ making Thomas anxious all the time?” It was late, he wasn’t thinking straight, why on  _ earth _ was he admitting all of this to Roman?  _ Roman, _ of all the Sides! Deceit’s jaw snapped shut quickly as inner conflict took over, trying to figure out some way to salvage the situation.

Roman didn’t speak. The silence dragged on, sending a crawling feeling up Deceit’s spine. He’d already ruined everything, so why stop now? The snake rushed on, filling the gap with hurried speech.

“I never wanted this, I never wanted  _ any  _ of this. I-I’d give anything to be one of you Light Sides, but with a name like Deceit and the unfortunate inability to tell the truth in front of more than one other person, I-I know you’d never even consider thinking of me as  _ good, _ ” something dropped from Deceit’s face down onto his collar, and he looked down in surprise. Water. He reached up to dab at his cheek with a hand, and found it wet as well. Tears. He’d never cried before and Deceit shielded his face in embarrassment. He turned his back to Roman, stifling a sob as emotions shot violently through his frame.

There were a handful of soft footsteps on the carpet behind him, a pause separating each two or three, and Deceit knew Roman must have been leaving the room. It would have been an optimal time to, with Deceit facing the other direction. He didn’t care. Stupid of him to think a “Light” Side would rethink, anyway.

So when arms wrapped themselves around his midsection in some form of reassuring hug, Deceit nearly jumped out of his skin.

Roman was a full couple of inches taller than Deceit, so he ended up tucked under the prince’s chin as he was pulled into an embrace. Lips brushed against Deceit’s ear as Roman whispered gently, “ _ I’m sorry. _ ”

Deceit took a shaky breath and tried to free himself from Roman’s grip in a fit of shock, though he only succeeded in breaking away from one arm’s grasp as the other clung to his sleeve, and Roman cried out in surprise. “Woah, c’mon, where are you going?” Roman pulled Deceit back towards him, the two now facing each other, and grabbed onto Deceit’s other arm with his. “We were having a moment!” Roman pouted dramatically.

Swinging gracefully to the other side of the emotional scale, Deceit threw his arms around Roman’s shoulders and sobbed into the side of his neck. “R-Roman-” he started, but was quickly shushed by the other Side.

“I’ve got you, Deceit, it’s okay,” the prince placed his hands caringly on Deceit’s back, holding him firmly against his chest. “Look, I… I screwed up, alright?” he spoke in slow, soft tones, trying to calm him down. “I should never have been so quick to make you the villain. I-It wasn’t fair.”

Deceit fell silent, listening to the pounding of Roman’s heart as the other spoke. This… was not how he’d expected his night to go. Least of all  _ this moment right now _ where he was being  _ cuddled _ by  _ Roman Sanders _ , of all Sides.

“Is there any way I can make it up to you?” Roman asked sincerely, gently moving Deceit away slightly so that their eyes could meet. “Within the realm of humanly possible, of course, I’m not going to buy you the moon or something.”

Despite the tears still glistening on his cheeks, Deceit let out a small laugh. “I want a star, then,” he replied. “Packaged up in a box and sent to my room.”

“I’m a star,” Roman flashed him a playful grin. “When do you want me to come by?”

Deceit had to refrain from whacking him upside the head as he let out an ‘appalled’, “ _ Roman! _ ” He was smiling now as well, still clutched in Roman’s embrace, still recovering from the sudden turnaround.

“How about I just walk you back, then?” Roman let go of Deceit and offered him his arm, smiling kindly down at him, caramel eyes glittering in the dim lamplight.

“I’d appreciate that,” Deceit answered as he took Roman’s arm. He paused, then murmured, “...thank you, Roman.”

“You’re very welcome, Deceit.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Sanders Sides fic, so please let me know what you think :D  
Cross-posted on Tumblr!


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